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15 April 2004 @ 07:05 pm
Abandonment  
People who have been abandoned suddenly, by death or circumstance, have a hard time with faith and waiting is painful. Yes, yes, there's a million caveats, I'm speaking from personal experience, I'm making a point, no nit-picking.

I challenge you, ask your loved ones if they've been or felt abandoned in their past, and the response may be an insight to strengthen your relationships.

I challenge you, ask yourself, and if it is yes, share those stories with your loved ones so that they know what waiting is for you, so that you can face and represent your need for consistency to build faith, because it does not come easily.

"She was afraid of people: not cautious and mindful of differences, but afraid like a dog, expecting to be hurt." - Ursula K. LeGuin, Always Coming Home

Being a stray dog is exhausting. Yea me not being a stray dog anymore!

Travelling had a lot to do with this.
 
 
 
baphometsangel on April 16th, 2004 03:05 am (UTC)
It's funny how many posts you make that strike me as having a mental connection with you.

You seem to be just one step ahead of me in a lot of ways and frankly, i'm getting pissed off! :P

You've made some excellent points here and I don't think I could attempt to refute any of them. I have some stray dogging to do now.

:)
Ichiban Chandomichan on April 16th, 2004 03:17 am (UTC)
I challenge you, ask your loved ones if they've been or felt abandoned in their past, and the response may be an insight to strengthen your relationships.


Interestingly, I don't have to ask. I am pretty certain that all of them have dealt with this, friends and family alike.
yvetteserpentmoon on April 16th, 2004 05:15 am (UTC)
Yep. This can be an issue. I have experienced it. Most of the problems with inconsistancy with communication or contact with a new boyfriend or whatever that I have had was mostly attributed to marathon silent treatments my ex would put me through without telling me why. So, when I began dating again, I had some difficulty with inconsistant communication. If the pattern broke and it had been too many days past our usual pattern, I would begin to worry that I had done something to cause him to not want to call me.

I'm much better, now. :)
First Four I Seefirstfourisee on April 17th, 2004 12:16 am (UTC)
The Reaction
I have slept next to the abandonment victims.

They fear. They clutch. They know they fear and clutch.
They want to hold on to something and throw it away before it lets go of them. They want to own, control, swallow, and reject. They care but cannot be seen to care.

I wish growth to those who have been down this road and wish I could buy a drink for everyone who goes through it with them. Or give them a one-way ticket out, but that feeds the cycle. So they stay and starve themselves.... Abandonment sucks.

So on looking up that last phrase, I found the following on the web:
A log of an on-line chat on BDSM: http://gloria-brame.com/therapy/thrive_archive/thrvmay3.html


But even better was the phrase from Colin on a co-dep adoption discussion page: "Abandonment sucks. Choices rock." (http://forums.adoption.com/t100767,15,3.html)

Props to Colin!
Stax: x3staxxy on April 17th, 2004 08:28 am (UTC)
welcome *home* Dorothy. It took you a little while to reach the Emerald City, but we're glad to have you here.