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12 March 2004 @ 06:33 pm
A brief, half-hearted rant about sexy things  
Confident is sexy.
Desperate isn't.

  • Confidence is keeping your standards and being OK with going to bed alone.
  • Desperation is lowering your standards for a warm body and, even worse, possibly projecting what you actually want on them. Feel free to exclude one night-stands, as long as they're not treated as reasons to form unrequited bonds.
  • The sexiest thing I've found in people of late is when they really, deeply like, accept and represent themselves exactly as is. Those particulars of their character may not mesh with my standards, but it's still sexy.
  • Being apologetic for being you isn't sexy.
  • Lowering your standards, or having none at all, isn't sexy.
  • Telling me how great I am is not as sexy as telling me how great you are. Of course, in all things, moderation.
  • Love yourself first. The cliche is true. I once replaced loving myself with having others love me, so that I seemed most confident when I was loved - when I had a partner, suddenly other admirers would come out of the wood work because suddenly I had confidence. I know it's a common pattern, I suspect this is at the root of it. It may even explain ogremarco's dating curse; he possibly gives women Sexy Confidence just by liking them. Alas, it's a theory, but it's hidden in a list.

    In conclusion, be confident, Atrayu, be confident!
    Current Mood: ranty; anticipatory
    Khirilkhiril on March 13th, 2004 02:51 am (UTC)
    I'm sorry that I keep saying you're great.

    Oops! ;)
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 02:55 am (UTC)
    laugh :-P

    Smart ass.

    I guess I should have expounded a bit ;) In meeting someone initially, I'm always perplexed by someone who wants to spend all their time complimenting and flustering me and none of it representing themselves so I can actually decide if I like them or not.
    Khirilkhiril on March 13th, 2004 03:41 am (UTC)
    Kind of a, "That's great, but I already knew that," sort of situation?

    I can see that.
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 03:43 am (UTC)
    :P :P :P :P :P
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 02:58 am (UTC)
    p.s. This would be a comically appropriate time to write up a list of all the wonderful things I don't know about you yet ;)
    Khirilkhiril on March 13th, 2004 03:38 am (UTC)
    I'm so open about my wonderfulness that I don't really know what you don't know yet.

    Plus, I tend to forget about a lot of stuff until something comes up to make the association in my cluttered little brain. ;)

    What I can come up with offhand:

    I sing passably well.
    I've gotten to the point that new people don't believe me when I say I'm shy.
    I tip well.
    I accumulate clothes not through shopping sprees, but through taking really good care of what I have.
    I listen to show tunes in my car.

    That's all the wonderfulness that you get for now.

    If you want to know more you have to ask questions. ;)
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 03:43 am (UTC)
    How do you feel about squirrels?
    Khirilkhiril on March 13th, 2004 03:53 am (UTC)
    I greatly prefer the native Western Grey to the invasive Eastern Grey.

    However, I am overall quite positive on the subject of squirrels.

    Especially the ones on the UW campus.

    I used to stop and watch them run around all the time.
    Stray Cat: playocicat on March 13th, 2004 04:13 am (UTC)
    How do you feel about Squirrel Fishing?

    Khirilkhiril on March 13th, 2004 06:50 pm (UTC)
    I disapprove.

    Not since cat-juggling has there been a greater abomination perpetrated upon our teensy mammalian brethren.

    For shame.
    Aesthete & Ne'er-do-wellwingedelf on March 13th, 2004 02:54 am (UTC)
    In conclusion, be confident, Atrayu, be confident!

    It's all part of a Never-Ending Story, eh?

    From the "broken chromosome" perspective, i'll add one. Don't be afraid to be assertive.
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 02:56 am (UTC)
    From the "broken chromosome" perspective

    I'm waiting for my neighbor to come ask me why I'm screaming with laughter. I've never heard that before, that's hilarious!!!

    Amen, brother, amen.
    Aesthete & Ne'er-do-wellwingedelf on March 13th, 2004 04:37 am (UTC)
    Thank you. I'm glad you approve of it. Feel free to share, no citation necessary, although if you feel compelled, that's cool too.
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 02:59 am (UTC)
    p.s. Everything I needed to know, I learned in Neverending Story.
    bayushi: sisyphusbayushiboy on March 13th, 2004 03:57 am (UTC)
    I am so sexy, it hurts ... me!
    danaid_luvdanaid_luv on March 13th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC)
    "To the winch, wench!!"

    One of my favourite lines...ever. *laughs*

    ('Toe-ully' off the topic, but the movie was referenced...there was nothing I could do)
    Jonny Corkscrewattictroll on March 13th, 2004 08:11 pm (UTC)
    Burgunder is the first Seagoth I eeeever met.
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
    TODD!!!! TODD!!!!

    Where in Queen Anne is TODD?!
    Jonny Corkscrewattictroll on March 13th, 2004 09:25 pm (UTC)
    He is not. He is in the U District, at the moment.
    Jonny Corkscrewattictroll on March 13th, 2004 09:26 pm (UTC)
    Pay no attention to meeeee. I am dumb and slooooow. La la la la leeeeee....
    Jonny Corkscrewattictroll on March 13th, 2004 09:28 pm (UTC)
    Take On Me...
    There I was, standing on the corner wondering how I would recognize the crew, when I saw a wee, fierce beastie with pigtails bigger than her. I, then, said to my self, "Ah ha!"
    Vulture: posedvulture23 on March 13th, 2004 09:30 am (UTC)
    As far as "confidence is sexy" --

    I can definitely say that I've gotten more positive attention from women in the last two years than I have in the previous 20+ that I've been of "dating age". And when I look back at it, there's two things that happened at around that time that seem very significant. One was that I ended up becoming part of the seagoth "scene", and met a lot of very cool people. But that was about three years ago, and it was only after a full year of making wonderful friends that I ended up actually dating someone. What really changed at that time, was that a number of factors, primarily internal ones, converged to really improve my self-confidence. It was almost ridiculously amusing -- I came to some personal revelations about a problem situation, and finally got some peace with that (and with myself), and almost immediately I had a lovely and talented woman making up cheesy excuses to talk to me. :) And as my self-confidence has been improving over the last two years, so has the amount of attention I get. The difference is so dramatic that if I saw it in a movie, I'd think the director was overstretching credibility, but it's real.
    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 04:57 pm (UTC)
    yea, testimonials!
    Sing it, brother!


    Our lives rule.
    baphometsangel on March 13th, 2004 07:01 pm (UTC)
    You get more interesting by the minute, I tells ya.

    I agree.

    It's taken me awhile to be confident in MYSELF. I've always been somewhat confident. I have no problems being outgoing and whatnot and making a fool of myself (in numerous ways). I do, however, now know that I am the sex0rz.

    I'm confident in all my abilities and the ability to learn more. I'm confident in my looks, my self, my life.

    Kburgunder on March 13th, 2004 07:40 pm (UTC)
    Are you flirting with me?

    baphometsangel on March 14th, 2004 05:10 am (UTC)
    Me? Flirt?

    Fat chance.

    (Deleted comment)