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10 August 2006 @ 11:03 am
Humor Balance  
Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking!

Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website ... (frightening). Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q. I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants full grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q. Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water.

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A. Let's not touch this one.

Q. Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A. What did your last slave die of?

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?(USA)
A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q. Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q. Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A. Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q. Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A. No, we don't stink.

Q. I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A. Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A. Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A. Only at Thanksgiving.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A. No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter / gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A. It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone talking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
intrepid_reason: Cheshire Catintrepid_reason on August 10th, 2006 06:23 pm (UTC)
ROFL!!! Thanks,I needed that!
Lawstlawst on August 10th, 2006 06:36 pm (UTC)
The word "vapid" come to mind, especially with some of the postings from the U.S.
Sarahsarmonster on August 10th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
That is fookin' awesome.
Varnvarn_ix on August 10th, 2006 09:55 pm (UTC)
This is attributed to the Sydney Olympics.

junoimeldajunoimelda on August 11th, 2006 01:47 am (UTC)
Oh. My. God. hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Vulture: nofacevulture23 on August 11th, 2006 04:48 am (UTC)
Ordinarily, I'd think that Americans should know just a tiny bit more about one of their neighbor countries... especially given that there's only two of those.

But then, these are Americans.... ;P

(I rather liked the answer about moose, though. I'll have to remember that one. :D )
nplusmnplusm on August 11th, 2006 11:48 pm (UTC)
I suspect
I don't think these are real, it's like so many other popular memes, where you attribute things never said to people you've never met for comedic effect.