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24 December 2007 @ 12:48 pm
"Hold On, Hold On" - Neko Case  
The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood (love) is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time

Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love

I leave the party at three a.m.
Alone, thank God

My tender love has been for all those in-between times - for Scott Tompkins, for Andy, for Julie, for Jenner, for Christopher - and for all the friends that I have the open-heartedness to meet anew, like strangers, everyday. You never step in the same river twice, and as long as I don't treat them like a stagnant pool and demand concrete never-ending consistency, I have a tender, good love that suits us all with dignity and grace. The people I love most and best are strangers to me in the morning and kin in the evening, every day that I know them. There is an absence of that angry momentum that is Expectation, and infinite space for evolution.

My dangerous love was for Duri. Aaron opened the door to that dangerous fierce place, but we walked away (and thank goodness!).

My ceiling love, my robot love, I used to digitize Adam and Jey and all those boys in college who come up as afterthoughts when I'm counting out the loves of my life, resting in the shadows of my memory so I have to Nintendo lean to see them. A haven for me, but the silhouette of a mean girl when they look back.

And the real love, that precious funny true love, I am lucky to have the experience of it. It's a lot like the tender, ever-evolving love of those in-between times and well-loved friends, but it connects from hair follicle to toe nail, from inner child to outer curmudgeon.

This song rules. It speaks to me and my fumbling heart and its questionable notions, and I love it. Thank you for sharing it with me, dj_stitch!
Current Mood: "Hold on, hold on" - Neko Case